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May 08, 2009

Too bad I've never claimed the lottery winnings I've been told I've won over the years. I'm sure I could have accumulated enough to buy a Caribbean island by now.

Or not.

Today's installment comes from a "Mr. Simon Heebner," who politely (if sloppily formatted) tells me I'm one of five winners splitting something around 2.6 million pounds sterling. My cut: £531,259.00. This is all courtesy of "Lotto Unlimited" in Bolton (U.K.).

The email address I'm supposed to use to contact this mighty organization is a free Yahoo! account with a user name of:

uk.claimsofice

Perhaps we Yanks are to think that (Ricky Gervais notwithstanding) the Brits spell office with only one f. Well, I mean, they spell color with an extra u stuck in there, so anything must go over there.

But where Mr. Heebner (definitely not his real name) went all wonky is with his email technical skills. You see, my email address in the To: field was accompanied by no fewer than 399 others, all in nice alphabetical order...all in plain view. And that's just crudo@ through editor@.

Well, Simon, I just don't feel all that special anymore. So you keep your pounds, and I'll keep my dollars from being siphoned off by upfront demands for fake fees, taxes, documents, or whatever.