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March 19, 2006

Mortgage spam has been out of control for years. So have the 419 advance-fee scammers. New (to me, anyway) for 2006 is a hybrid of the two. Unlike true mortgage spam, however, this one is probably less interested in your personal information, but is really interested in extracting some money from you before you receive (not!) your loan.

I'll spare you the lengthy drivel of the message that begins:

You could be chosen for this Life Time Opportunity.

This clown has the audacity to claim he represents (I kid you not) The United Nation Development Loan and Scheme Project (UNDLSP). The priority of this project, we're told, is:

to provide a low interest scheme loan to private individuals and companies to help combat the debilitating effect of poverty globally.

In the course of fighting global poverty (hold your sides):

We also provide home equity line of credit, where our accredited bank gives you a checkbook or credit card to make purchases, which then accrue against your home's equity.

See, Bono, all that hard work has finally allowed struggling homeowners to get a line of credit from $50,000 to $1,000,000! Woohoo!

Here's how to start the process:

Candidates who are interested in the UNDP Loan Scheme Project are advised to send copy of their identification document, age, profession and contact telephone/fax number to the "Loan Officer" in De Hague, Netherlands and request for "Loan Application Form" which must be completed and return to the accredited Loan Officer who has the mandate to begin the process of analyzing and verifying the information on the application form to determine the client's creditworthiness.

I'm not exactly sure what an "identification document" is, so I guess I can't apply for this great loan opportunity. Otherwise I'd send off the email right away, since I don't consider it odd that such a prestigious organization (even if the "United Nation" isn't exactly the "United Nations") would use a Google gmail.com address.

One thing is certain: This isn't a "no points, no fees" kind of loan. In fact, anyone who applies will have to pay nothing but fees, and even then never see a dime.

I grade this 419er a C+ for creativity.